Sitting here…waiting

I have a little time to spare at work right now. This is a rarity, but I do want to take advantage of this time to write some thoughts down.

Uncertainty.

There are times when my confidence level at work will be at its low. I feel like I’m doing the best I can in this job, but at times I feel like I’m failing even though I have done nothing wrong.

I do admit, and I pride myself with the choices and decisions I’ve made in this position. I feel more authorized to do the things I was never sought out to do. I think acquiring this responsibility, and having someone believe in me that I can make the right decision (even if mistakes are made along the way), scares me a little. Because now, I can say what works and what doesn’t.

I’m still not sure if I’ve proved myself worthy, but I think I’ve become part of the team in this environment. I’ve been creating my mold and making a stamp in this place, that I’m no longer a wallflower, but a valid contributor of thoughts and ideas.

I developed a voice. A voice that is heard, but also scared to be heard… and the challenge and obstacle lies in that contradiction.

Time’s up. Resume working.

 

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